X is for Xavier
Definitions from Dictionary.com
1. Saint Francis ( Francisco Javier; “the Apostle of the Indies” ), 1506–52, Spanish Jesuit missionary, esp. in India and Japan.
2. a male given name: from an Arabic word meaning. So that is what Xavier means
Today I received communion invitations from my girlfriend. It seems that she has decided to take her children through the Catholicism process. I am happy for her. It showed how she is much more stable, and much stronger in faith than I. It comes so easy for her, while it feels burdensome for me.
I can not figure out why I am so afraid to take on this responsibility. Is it because the responsibilities I have did not derived from my own choices, which made me more anxious to get rid off, or is it because of my own weakness. Perhaps I am in need of psychologist evaluation and am disillusioned of my role in life.
I recalled when I was faced with the decision, to bring the boys to the other side or not. I couldn't make a go of it. I fear I couldn't live up to the expectations and the responsibilities of motivating my children. So I ran away. I made sure that there isn't anymore communications with the church, and I made sure that I don't welcome anymore responsibilities. I believe being a good Christian or Catholicism or any religion there might be, you need to be stable, to accept god, to accept responsibilities and such expectations of being a parishioner. I didn't have that consistency, and now, I am waiting for the day when I can handle it all, and that I would be open to the path that is already chosen for me. Whether to accept or to find out if this is the religion of my choice, there should be a time when I will see it much clearer.
I would love for you all to join Thursday Two Questions:
My Thursday Two Questions:
1) Did you chose your own religion now (if you have one), or has it been in the family?
2) Have you ever been forced into a situation where if given the choice, you would not have chosen it?
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