That said, I appreciate your candid opinions and perspective and would love to get your feedback on Thursday Two Questions meme. If you have suggestions for improvements to Thursday Two Questions meme, please comment below. If you would rather send me an email, it is amanada@selfsagacity.com. Don't worry about offending me, I rather know than not know. Thanks!
Speaking of truths, today, I confirmed the feeling of being singled-out. It could be that I am already a little emotional the last couple of days, but, I definitely felt like my presence, or company wasn't exciting the group of moms from T's school today. So I couldn't help but wonder what made these women so distant? I felt like I was in high school again, where girls hang around in clicks. Especially prom time, the popular girls would gather and talk about their choices of prom dresses. I started feeling this way since the second week of school. So I couldn't wait to find a reflection of me somewhere. Finally, I was in front of my car window, I checked to see if I looked sleazy, dirty, too dressy, or too sloppy, etc... None was the case. I am friendly, approachable, and that was proven on numerous days while we all waited outside the classroom for our kids, so WHAZZ-UP?
Here are Self Sagacity's Thursday Two Questions #52
1) Have you ever been targeted / singled-out because of your race or your age?
2) Do you target a group or singled-out a group to be close with?
It's easy to join Thursday Two Questions Meme. 1) Post your own two questions on your blog, 2) Have a link or badge on your post to Self Sagacity.com and have fun visiting others.
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15 Comments
First, Congratulations!!! on your anniversary, that is awesome!!! This is my favorite meme so as far as I'm concerned you do a great job every week and don't have to change anything.
ReplyDelete1. I've never been singled out by race but I have by age. For myself, I really don't care about a person's age as far as being friends. However, many do not like being around more mature people. So yes, in that regard, I have been singled out.
Also, I many times feel distanced by certain friends or acquaintances but I have learned that it's just me feeling sensitive. Many people may seem distant but they may just have things on their mind etc... So, don't think about it or let it worry you, you just be you :)
I have been singled out, but it is due to religion. People consider me "not fun" and therefore don't invite me to do things. I'm also not a mom so that excludes me from many things automatically.
ReplyDeleteI try to be friends with everyone and don't try to single one group out more than others.
Not being included hurts at every age!
I'm so sorry that they did that, and to answer your questions I've experienced both when JoJo was little and we joined a play group. The moms made sure that they are unsociable, and not open to let anyone in. Therefore, I seek out people who were like me in situation and life style to be close with.
ReplyDeleteForget them..they are not bloggers who support each other like us :-)
Congratulations on the Anniversary! This meme has been so much fun and also very challenging.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the way you are being treated. Some women never seen to get over the cliquish behavior of high school.
No, never because of race or age. When I moved from the South to Alaska people did react to me differently for awhile because of my accent.
I am not a group oriented person, I choose my friends because of who they are as a person not by looks, age or nationality.
1. When I was younger I was called a heathen by my friends parents...I never even knew why until I became an adult and realized I had Native ancestry...I just didn't know about racism and I'm afraid for the most part, it went right over my head...I just thought, by the tone of their voices, that "heathen" wasn't a good word!
ReplyDelete2. I don't care if I have folks to hang out with...I'm a loner in that aspect...I guess my fellow bloggers are one group that I continuously reach out for~!!
Congrats on your anniversary!
ReplyDeleteIt's awful that that the other mothers make you feel isolated. I hate it when people behave like that.
I've felt like that, but I've realised that those people aren't worth the stress they cause. If they're like that, then I don't want to be a part of that group. I don't ever want to make other people feel like that.
Yay! It's a birthday! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteAs for your questions:
1. Yes, I almost always felt singled out by the other parents at school events. For a while I thought I was just perceiving it all wrong, but after someone went with me and then commented on the behavior of the other parents toward me (they wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't give me the opportunity to volunteer or help and continuously looked down at me quite openly) that I realized it wasn't just all in my head. I always figured it was my age. I had my son at 18, so I was usually more than 10 yrs younger than most of the parents there. Not my fault I looked young....I was. It did, over the years, have quite an impact. I used to really want to help out with my son's classes, the PTA, etc. I wanted to be a huge part of it all, but refused to put up with that kind of behavior. It did hurt, as much as I would never have admitted it back then.
2. I am kind to people from the get-go. I think everyone should be kind all around, at least until they have reason not to. My friends? They are chosen due to their personalities, their morals and values and their compatability to mine. Sometimes, I just get a feeling from some people to stay away, so I do, but I'm still not mean or rude to them. I know how that feels and I don't ever want someone to feel that way because of me.
What an accomplishment for your MEME! :)
ReplyDeleteAnswers:
1. I've moved around a lot, so I've been the newbie often. People are great at being surface friendly, but I've found it hard to really get to know people if there has been a group of life-long friends. I have found that when I show people I'll love them unconditionally, it helps me, too. If I have no expectations, I can't be let down.
2. I tend to be a social butterfly--really. I normally look for the one who is alone in a room and head over there to chit chat. If they seem disinterested in conversation, I keep it short and sweet and move on so as to not bother them. I gravitate easily toward those who are fun-loving and not critical. I can be a goofball, so if someone is always nit-picking, it wears me down. I will still talk to them and hang out with them--cautiously, though. ;)
Congrads on your anniversary.
ReplyDeleteI've been in your shoes before.. now I heck care with them. There are certain people which we get along with and some which we don't and it's no point trying to get along with those that do not wish to be friends with you. It's not worth the time and effort. I rather invest in the few friends who are really concerned and genuine.
WooHoo! Congrats on the anniversary of TTQ! :)
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about the way you were treated - you'd think high school antics would have been left back in high school. ((HUGZ!!))
Sure I've been 'singled out' - not by race, but certainly by age, and the fact that even 13 years of living in PA, I still feel like (and am treated like) an outsider by those that grew up here (or at least that's how it feels - probably more on my part than anyone else's because I just don't feel 'at home' here, and because I'm used to people being more friendly in Washington State than they seem to be here).
I haven't targeted any groups to be close with, but I do tend to keep to myself...if there's a glimmer of a warm welcome, I'll test it out. ;)
I can empathize with you, though - seems all the moms at Princess Nagger's school are very cliquish - I imagine that since it's a fairly small town they all have history together, probably went to high school together and their kids have been growing up together. I'm always the odd one out because I don't have that history or connection with them.
Angry Bird and McQueen Together at Halloween
Happy Anniversary with this meme beautiful. It's been great tagging along.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I've been where you are so many times that I just stopped caring. I always try to be very friendly and approachable, but if I'm left out of the clique, I now assume that they just don't want to take the time to know me or give me the chance to know them.
It hurts sometimes and at other times I can bitch myself up so that I understand, I'm alright. Just because I'm not apart of that group doesn't mean I'm not valuable etc. (sry for that word)
No I don't target any group to be apart of.
You know, the thing with me, It's psychological. I just don't trust people. It takes me a long time to allow people in. And during that long time, it's good to be interacting with you so that I can see your character in different avenues of life. How you handle situations, how you deal with others etc.
So just keep being you and I love how you evaluate yourself first before casting judgement on anything or anyone.
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*hug*
I am a pretty confident individual so I rarely notice when I am being singled-out. Usually, it's upon reflection of a situation when I realize I probably wasn't that welcomed. I just figure, "oh, well, too late now!" Just the same, I have also tended to clique with less-than-ideal people so maybe it's because I hang around already-singled-out people. I definitely get left out of groups on a regular basis, but I figure that's because most people think I'm already part of a group. I have also come to realize a group I think may be good to be part of is not really a good group for me. God protects me from people that are bad for me, I think.
ReplyDelete1. yes, when i was younger, i felt i was singled out because i have lots of pimples on my face and my classmates would sing "rudolfa the red nose ranger" as i came nearer them, ahhh, thankfully, gone are those days.
ReplyDelete2. i usually do not target a group to be close with, usually, it just happens naturally.
I'm like the above commenter, I don't trust people either much. As far as being singled out...well, I have a heavy accent from the state I'm from and when I moved out of state, I felt like an outsider. People heard me speak...then judged - oh, your not from around here, then labels, etc, etc, etc .
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your 52 weeks!! Quite a milestone.
ReplyDelete1. I grew up in South Africa and there has always been racial tension. I know that many people in South Africa distrust white people and they often have good reason for doing so. I have always worked to be open and friendly and usually find that I win people over in time. In fact, I can't recall a time in South Africa where I didn't eventually establish trust and friendship with people of any colour.
2. I always try to make everyone in a room or situation feel comfortable. So if I notice someone alone or looking awkward, I will often move to be near them and to befriend them. Of course, as luck would have it, that lonely person has often been me now that I live in the UK and I overcome that by dragging a colleague or friend along to Meetups or blogging events.
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