It is that time of year that my family spent happy or grieving. Most times I think we do both. My dad was killed in a car accident around Christmas time, and he left us this earth on December 24th, 1987. His death has left me with many questions about the court case, the doctors and decisions. We never thought to getting a medmal agency to look into the case.
Ever since then the traditions in my life left with him as well. They say every group needs a leader. As far as I know my father was a great leader in our family. He was good with establishing traditions, and sticking with them. We all did what he wanted and didn't even question it. Now a day, not only my kids questioned everything that we do, they have opinions too!
Getting back to Dad, it was really good for me growing up with the traditions my dad established. It was stability, I knew what to expect every weekend, every holiday, and every summer.
My immediate family has zero tradition, not one that I can even count for three years in a row. Our best was something we did for two years in a row, if I can even remember what it was. Our tradition-less life didn't even phase me until recently. One day, out of the blues, I wondered what and how Trinity sees Christmas? Sure, I wanted her to be flexible, but I also want to hear her talk about our family activities to her friends and children one day. What she remembers the family doing around Christmas, New Year, Halloween, and so on.
Needless to say, it has me worried in some ways lately about our tradition-less lives. On the positive note, we are flexible. Not to expect that someone can always be with us and to be independent emotionally and physically. As I send these messages to my children that they have to do certain things out of respect, and just because...I also encouraged them to be independent and exploratory. If they have a good excuse for their absence, I can be fine with it.
Here are Self Sagacity's Thursday Two Questions #67:
1) Do you believe in having traditions around holidays, or gathering with your family?
2) Can you excuse your love ones from attending traditional gatherings?
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