I Want a Mate Without Aches

Once long ago, I had the chance to relive my life - sort of. So with this little wiggle room, I made a list of all the characteristics that were important to me, in case I was ever in the position to choose a mate again. On this long list of day dreams included a need for the mate to love or play two sports. Even though I wasn't thorough, I knew what the drama was and why it was important to me. What I should have written down was: I Want a Mate Without Aches

I will tell you why. My last mate had a love of one sport, and it was all or nothing for this sport. I am not sure why that love of sport, being outdoors, doesn't correspond with the beauty nature offers. His behaviors were inconsistent with his so call loves.
There was a time when I would love to do a family beach trip, but the beach was too messy, and sand would get all over his car. And don't even mention about the park, it is a filthy place. But the time I remember most was the sledding trip. It literally took forever to convince him to drive us, and to do it for the kids' sake. We managed to drive up to the snow by the afternoon after hours on the road. The whole time with him looking as if he was going to his own funeral, and like I had knife at his throat.

The kids were ecstatic to be in the snow. I was excited to go skiing. The ski racks we borrowed back then were not made as well as the ones I saw recently at ski racks at cracksandracks.com. Of course that gave the dude another excuse to go home and reason to more aches.
About half an hour after we got there, he didn't want to stay over night as we planned. He had a butt ache, a head ache, an ear ache, a stomach ache, and a leg ache, you name it, he had it. When I offered Advil and some sort of remedy for his aches, he came up with some other aches. Everything was hard.  Everything was difficult.
Perhaps I was too oblivious to understand his medical problems, but I was the only healthy person in the relationship. I can take it all, I can do everything, I can work two jobs, do chores, think, sleep and still able to love and care. I was an ox.
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  1. Amanda, normally I would say that you do not want someone who has never experienced aches because he would not understand when you were, but this guy was the ache. Sorry. So glad you moved on.

    1. Yes. He was an ache. It's funny, most people change over time, a little better. He is still the same, how is that possible?

  2. I can relate to your woes ... NOW I might be the partner with all the aches. It's nice to be single!!

  3. I'd say you have "one less ache" to deal with! You sound like a very independent, capable person who can take care of herself very well, but I do wish you luck on finding a new mate without aches. Mickie :)

  4. I'm the one with the aches in our relationship. My husband sometimes have backaches, but he plays football (soccer) and cricket in leagues at a very high level.
    He works full-time at his job as a university lecturer, so I suppose he's allowed aches. I hope I don't spoil his fun with all my aches and pains! :-)

  5. oh sorry about that, but i can see why some people would have a lot of aches if they are put into something they probably have no interest at all, they think it is an agony. i have not experienced this from my hubby, but from a friend who asked me before to bring her to one of the trails I always take in SD (Torrey Pines). Just because it was an uphill walk ( and to think TP was not even steep uphill, it is an easy uphill), maybe a very few steps, she started complaining of headache, leg pain, muscle ache, etc etc. we turned around and not complete the hike that in the first place she asked me to bring her there! and i experienced this several times from some girlfriends who see my pictures and would want to go there too, they are not so used to walking they complain about headache and body ache after a very very short walk.

  6. Sadly, I'm the mate with all the aches. It sucks to always feel like I'm holding him back.

    Thanks for playing 6WS!

  7. I have found that I prefer traveling solo!

  8. I like the idea of making a list for qualities you want in a mate.

    Thanks for sharing.

  9. I think you did all you could to make things work . I am sorry for this heartache in your & your kid's life.
    I do hope you have Happy Thanksgiving! Blessings

  10. I don't have a partner, and I'm one with the aches because of my physical disability. From this alone, I'm taking the beating.

  11. mmm.... what can I say, other than to express sympathy. yes, you are right; pay attention to what you wish for... you might just get it.

    I am actually coming to your site re. the Follower linky blog hop. I AM FOLLOWING YOU *** WILL YOU FOLLOW ME BACK ? Thank you so much when you do.

    There is also a link party on our blog, where you can feature 'your best creative work'. There are some great projects to see already, but we want to see your work!

    This url is both to FOLLOW and to PARTY:

    Hope to seeing you around!!
    Have a happy, creative day!


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